Fears and how to transform them

Why Are We So Afraid That Our Loved Ones Might Suffer?

There is a silent fear that lives within many of us—especially in a mother’s heart: the fear that our children might suffer. It doesn’t matter how old they are, whether they live close or far away, whether they are doing well or not… that inner voice doesn’t switch off. It suddenly creeps in: “What if something happens to them?” “What if they get depressed?” “What if they don’t tell me they’re not okay?” “What if they get sick and I don’t notice?”

Why do these thoughts chase us?Why, even in moments of calm, does our mind look for reasons to worry?

Maybe it’s instinct. Maybe it’s love. But it’s also a mental habit—a reflex of the ego that believes that, if it can anticipate everything, it can control the future.

A Mind That Anticipates Pain

I remember one night, for no apparent reason, when I felt a knot in my chest. My child was fine, I was fine… but my mind started to imagine catastrophic scenarios. And the strange thing is, the more I thought about them, the more real they seemed. I was feeling anguish over something that hadn’t happened.

Once, someone told me:“Don’t worry about what hasn’t happened.”

And although it sounds simple, it was a phrase that helped me see more clearly. How many times do we suffer unnecessarily over things that never occur? How much mental energy do we spend creating fear-filled movies inside our heads?

Another author put it this way:“Worrying helps absolutely nothing.”

And they were right. Worry doesn’t prevent, doesn’t protect, doesn’t heal. It only wears us down.

Reconocer el miedo es el primer paso para vencerlo.

Changing the Chip: From Fear to the Present

What if, instead of letting anxiety carry us away, we trained ourselves to switch the chip the moment we feel fear starting to grow?

We can practice it with something as simple as breathing.Three deep breaths, with the intention of returning to the present.And then, telling ourselves comforting phrases to soothe that inner voice:

• “Right now, everything is fine.”

• “I trust life and the strength of those I love.”

• “My thoughts are not facts.”

Repeating these phrases is not denial. It is care. It is consciously choosing what to feed within ourselves.

A Buddhist Legend About Fear

In an ancient Buddhist story, a monk was walking toward the forest when he was confronted by a huge demon. This demon represented fear.Instead of running away, the monk bowed to him and said respectfully:“I know you are here. You may come with me. But you will not lead my life.”

The demon followed him for a while, but as it received no resistance or nourishment, it began to shrink until it disappeared.

This is how it is with our fears: when we acknowledge them without letting them take control, they lose power. It’s not about eliminating them—it’s about not identifying with them.

Listening to Our Authentic Self

Fear comes from the ego, from that negative part that wants to keep us worried… and does so from a place of anxiety.

Our deeper inner voice, on the other hand, speaks to us calmly. It reminds us of the power of the present, of acceptance, of trust.

We can choose whom to listen to:The fear that has not yet taken shape?Or our inner wisdom that invites us to let go and trust?

A Final Reminder

The next time a fearful thought tries to take over, breathe.Pause.And ask yourself:

Am I suffering over something real… or over something that only lives in my mind?

You have the power to return to the present, again and again.Here—in the here and now—is where true peace lives.